Belief
Recent events have had me thinking about belief. It's easy to believe in something you can see, taste, touch or smell. But those things we believe that are intangible or not explainable are often those things which command the most diligent dedication and unshakeable belief.
I send out several entry forms every month for juried competitions. I contact countless publishers to try to have my paintings put into print. I invest money and time that is not easily found. I paint in my studio everyday. I catalog those works produced. And I try to keep myself from creating harsh judgements along the way which seems the most difficult task of all. And I do all these things because I have belief. Belief that painting is still worth something to people other than myself. Belief that I can make paintings worth having in private homes, collections, shows, magazines and anywhere else they can be shown and experienced.
Just getting up everyday and performing the tasks of an artist is enough to shake my belief in myself, in my art, in painting as a human endeavor. Up to now, there have been relatively few rewards, an almost complete vacancy of those tangibles which would make my belief easy. But I keep doing it anyway. And I think holding judgement with a strong, short leash is most important for me or else I open the door for doubt.
On my circle of emotion, doubt is directly opposite of belief. And I ride the circle both in my artistic work and in my daily living. Everyday I can choose to believe in those things I feel are worthy of belief or I can choose to create doubt, insecurity, and skepticism. And while a certain amount of judgement is needed to make this choice, there is a moment when I choose to believe, a moment I choose to let go and float out into that unknown. Am I ever sorry for throwing myself into places where danger may be lurking in wait for my release?
No.
When I reach the end of my days, whenever and wherever that arrives, I will not have doubt and resentment. I will not have dark monsters swimming around inside my head. Fears that kept me from trying something, for believing in something I can't explain. And it doesn't matter now or then whether I succeed or fail (however you may define those concepts). What matters is that I walked through my days with belief. In myself, the people around me, and in every action I took along the way. I will rest easy and my journey will have been better than any painting. And in fact, those things I choose to believe in everyday, the fact that I paint and believe in the power of art is what makes my life so satisfying. Without belief, I simply have no motivation.
So perhaps belief, wherever you choose to place it, is one of our most powerful tools for a happy and fulfilled life. And that is indeed what we are all seeking, however we choose to go looking. For me, painting is an important search tool. A magnifying glass for inspecting what's happened. For finding those tangibles that make my belief unshakeable.
I send out several entry forms every month for juried competitions. I contact countless publishers to try to have my paintings put into print. I invest money and time that is not easily found. I paint in my studio everyday. I catalog those works produced. And I try to keep myself from creating harsh judgements along the way which seems the most difficult task of all. And I do all these things because I have belief. Belief that painting is still worth something to people other than myself. Belief that I can make paintings worth having in private homes, collections, shows, magazines and anywhere else they can be shown and experienced.
Just getting up everyday and performing the tasks of an artist is enough to shake my belief in myself, in my art, in painting as a human endeavor. Up to now, there have been relatively few rewards, an almost complete vacancy of those tangibles which would make my belief easy. But I keep doing it anyway. And I think holding judgement with a strong, short leash is most important for me or else I open the door for doubt.
On my circle of emotion, doubt is directly opposite of belief. And I ride the circle both in my artistic work and in my daily living. Everyday I can choose to believe in those things I feel are worthy of belief or I can choose to create doubt, insecurity, and skepticism. And while a certain amount of judgement is needed to make this choice, there is a moment when I choose to believe, a moment I choose to let go and float out into that unknown. Am I ever sorry for throwing myself into places where danger may be lurking in wait for my release?
No.
When I reach the end of my days, whenever and wherever that arrives, I will not have doubt and resentment. I will not have dark monsters swimming around inside my head. Fears that kept me from trying something, for believing in something I can't explain. And it doesn't matter now or then whether I succeed or fail (however you may define those concepts). What matters is that I walked through my days with belief. In myself, the people around me, and in every action I took along the way. I will rest easy and my journey will have been better than any painting. And in fact, those things I choose to believe in everyday, the fact that I paint and believe in the power of art is what makes my life so satisfying. Without belief, I simply have no motivation.
So perhaps belief, wherever you choose to place it, is one of our most powerful tools for a happy and fulfilled life. And that is indeed what we are all seeking, however we choose to go looking. For me, painting is an important search tool. A magnifying glass for inspecting what's happened. For finding those tangibles that make my belief unshakeable.
posted by HGordon at 10:07
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